I Still Put Faith In Us
by Mariposa Indigo
Summary: Chapter Two, finally! In the midst of matchmaking, Chel ponders love, and looks back into her past...
1. The Panic In Me

I Still Put Faith In Us  
Chapter 1: The Panic In Me  
  


My first attempt at El Dorado fic, not to mention slashing Miguel and Tulio. R/R, and I will love you. ^_^ Part 1 of 2.  


  


The jungles of the New World were as diverse as creatures of the ocean. Every leaf, flower, and berry, every bird and snake, even the very richness of the earth was like a paradise fit for a king-or maybe just fit for a pair of gods, a girl, and a horse as they cut a trail, leaving their mark on something so remarkable, Miguel almost felt guilty about disturbing it.  
Tulio had other ideas.  
"Damnit, it's hot out here. How long before we get to a spring?"   
Chel grinned, wrapping her arms around him playfully. "We don't know."  
"Oh, just *great*."   
"It's just too bad we can't keep each other *cold*..."  
The dark-haired man grumbled something, shrugging her off with a briefly apologetic look. "I'm just not in the mood today. It feels like we've been wandering in circles for days. How can you two-"  
"Three," Miguel piped up to insist. "Altivo gets very offended if he's not included."  
Tulio sighed, rolling his eyes. "How can you *three* live like this, anyway? No plan, no goal, no idea of what's going to happen next...   
Miguel turned around briefly from guiding ("helping", he insisted) the horse, his own eyes as bright as a child playing pirates. "But that's the *fun* of it! We can build a boat and go back to Spain any day, but this, *this* is adventure."   
He took a breath of the jungle air, and Tulio hid a smile beneath a furrowed brow. "You can call it fun, Miguel, but I'll call it heat stroke."  
"But can't you see that we'd have more adventures out here than we'd ever have cooped up in some town?"  
His friend allowed himself the pleasure of a faint smile. "I can see that you're going to hit that branch if you don't look out."  
Miguel whirled around in time to receive a low-hanging branch full in the face. Taken off-guard, he fell back into Tulio's arms, his partner and Chel having managed to duck just in time.  
He looked annoyed for a moment, and then he broke out into laughter. Tulio and Chel soon joined him, and it seemed as though even Altivo was chuckling. Even when they reached water, Tulio's thirst was forgotten, and he was eager to return Chel's embraces.  
Long after the laughter settled, the girl's mind was dancing with thought. Miguel had stayed in the darker Spaniard's arms for just a moment too long.  
  
The heat, while forgotten, had exhausted Tulio, and he dozed off quicker than Chel and Miguel that night. The remaining two kept their eyes open, their hearts light, as they watched the stars from their places on the ground.  
The blonde eyed his sleeping friend with a smile, maybe even lingering for an instant. "He always looks so tense and worried. But I know he's having fun...because when he sleeps, he smiles."  
_Yes, _Chel thought, _but for who, Miguel? And do either of you know it? And how can I stop it.?..._   
"Miguel..." she said after a moment, trying to keep all traces from her voice that might suggest what she was trying to know. "You've known him for ages, haven't you?"  
"Since I can remember. We grew up together. Sometimes, we can finish each other's sentences, we can tell what the other is thinking." He laughed, gazing at his best friend's sleeping form. "It's crazy. I don't know what I thought I was going to do without him, alone in El Dorado. Alone anywhere..." He trailed off, realizing he was babbling.  
"So it's...always just been you two?" She had that voice that said she wanted something, the voice that even Miguel had come to recognize before long, but he misread its nature.  
"Don't worry, there's never really been other women. Once and a while, sure, but they were always flings, whichever one of us they were with. Tulio's...never had anyone like you before," Miguel said, his voice softening.   
_The gods bless his good intentions,_ she thought, the information having only bothered her more. Along the many trails they had marked, there had only been Miguel. Tulio had needed nobody else.   
"'He tried to describe you, once," the youthful blonde was continuing. "Said that you were 'like music that doesn't need any words.' I don't think I've ever seen him get so poetic. You do for him what nobody else-" He frowned, gazing skyward for a moment, then letting his eyes linger on the sleeping Tulio. "Chel, take good care of him. Make sure he laughs as much as he should. I don't need very much, but I like it best when we're all happy together."  
She should have just promised. Gone to sleep. Forgotten. But she met his eyes, and suddenly, her plans were twisted-as they often were, when riding with the Spanish pair-into something completely different. "How can I do that, Miguel, if you're the only one who can really make him smile?"  
He stared at her for a moment, silent, his eyes seeming nervous and unsure.   
He chuckled briefly, turning his gaze away. "I should go to bed. G'night, Chel."  
"Don't worry. I won't tell him."   
Miguel froze, quickly glancing at Tulio's sleeping form. His eyes stayed on the other man for a moment, as if wondering what Chel meant, how to respond. Then, he turned back to her, and nodded. "Thank you."  
  
Long after they were sleeping, she stayed awake, thinking. Thinking of the look in Miguel's eyes, the glances the two men exchanged, the way things had seemed so *right* when the pair were embracing, even when her only thought had been to break them apart. The way they had laughed together at that moment brought something to completion, and she couldn't deny what those things were.  
_I don't need very much, _he had said, _but I like it best when we're all happy together._  
She was a wordless song, maybe, but Miguel was a ray of sunlight on Tulio's face, a refreshing drink of water after a wild gallop on horseback, every color of the jungle lit in just the right arrangement. One did all the worrying, the other all the smiling. How could a brief tumble be worth the destruction of that?  
She would keep her word, of course. She would say nothing. But she wouldn't let it rest until Tulio realized the same things Miguel had that night. Like her ebon-haired lover, Chel was no philosopher, no poet, but she could lighten up enough to know this much: an adventure and romance should go hand in hand, love should be made with a laugh, and nothing could come between two people who only needed each other.   
With a glimmer of matchmaking mirth in her eyes, she began to make her plans.  
  


-to be continued-  
  
  



	2. Trust Me

I Still Put Faith In Us  
Part Two: Trust Me  
  


_Author's Notes: Wow. Been ages. O_O Finally swept the dust off this one and came up with Part Two, although it looks like there's going to be a Part Three now. This chapter is more focused on Chel than anything, which happened unintentionally, but I'm enjoying myself developing her. There's gonna be Miguel and Tulio in Part Three, I promise! ^_^  
There's a serious issue covered in Chel's past, and although she luckily manages to escape it, it's affected her deeply. I'm sorry if I offend or cause pain to anyone who's gone through the same thing, especially if Chel's way of coping with it isn't accurate for most people or offends them. You'll see what I mean, kinda, when you read.  
As always, read, respond, and enjoy!_  
  
It had been her sixteenth failure as a matchmaker, and Chel was beginning to wonder if she was bad at this. She entertained the thought for a few moments, before dropping it out of her mind. She could con, not to mention seduce, the pants off Tulio any day. It shouldn't be much harder if she acted as an outside source. After all, _she_ wasn't the one he really wanted, deep down.  
No, she'd questioned that at first, but now she was sure of it. After sixteen attempts of leaving them alone, of compromising positions and false flirtation towards Miguel, of dropping the subtleties and giving blatant advice to the blonde Spaniard, she'd seen enough. Tulio's eyes danced like blue flames at the sight of the other man. They lingered too long, his hands touched too much, only two people in the world coaxed smiles from him and those born of her presence were much more rare.   
Every plan had failed.  
  
"Can I ask you a question, Chel?"  
Failure number ten, 'Operation Hot Springs'. Miguel had emerged from it with certain physical discomforts, threatening her with bodily harm if she 'ever did that to him again'. Newly calmed in its aftermath, however, he'd turned thoughtful, hence the question.  
"Sure. What's up?"  
"Why?"  
She blinked, not quite grasping the blonde's meaning. "Uhm...why not?" she offered helpfully.  
"You have him," Miguel murmured, his normally bright and mysteriously British tones showing a restraint from bitterness. "He cares about you completely, Chel, more than he's ever cared about any other woman in his _life_. I've been there most of it, I know. You don't have to do this. Why do you?"  
"I think...you're assuming Tulio and I love each other."  
His surprise inspired her own. Did Tulio say nothing about her, or had Miguel, or both of them, avoided the topic of her when they were alone?   
"Don't you?" he questioned her.  
"No. He's...great, and gorgeous, and an amazing-well. He's amazing," she covered swiftly, as pain began to register in the man's emerald eyes. "But it's like friends with benefits, Miguel. Good friends, but just that. We never pretended it was anything more than that. I don't think I ever wanted anything else."  
She didn't know what prompted the next question, and perhaps he didn't, either. "Have you ever been in love before?"  
"Never. I..." She managed a smile, and a chuckle. "I don't think I'd know it if it crept up on me and hit me."  
"I complain more than I cooperate on this matchmaking buisness. I guess I'm afraid of losing him. I...thank you, Chel."  
"Hey, it's ok. Anything for the two of you." She ruffled his hair playfully, her smile and easy charm beginning to return.  
She realized, faintly, that she'd never answered his question.  
  
That conversation still registered, like a fresh memory, but it was silenced in the evenings when she met with Tulio. Everything was easier when he was around; they donned old masks, were friends and lovers and explorers like always.   
At night, the darker Spaniard seemed to crave physical contact more than ever, as though he was trying to smother a wayward urge. It was a literally guilty pleasure, every shiver down her spine coupled with the prayer that Miguel hadn't seen them, heard them, hadn't resented. Soon, she promised him silently, drowning in Tulio's kiss for the brief time she had it. It's because of you, and soon now, he'll be all yours. I swear.  
It was the first time she'd felt guilty about anything. Not to mention torn.  
Failure seventeen, failure eighteen, failure nineteen. "Just tell him?" she suggested with a wince one day, the fear in Miguel's eyes instantly negating the idea.  
She decided to hit the source.  
  
"What would you call us, Tulio?" She nuzzled into his arms (for the time being, Miguel, only for the time being), meeting his eyes with a questioning gaze.  
"Uhm...friends with benefits?"  
"Exactly what I was thinking."  
A brief, awkward pause. "That...doesn't bother you, does it?"  
Chel laughed, kissing his cheek. His scent was a combination of the jungle and a dangerous musk. She wondered when she had started focusing on such details. "*I* seduced *you*, remember, 'little voice'?"  
"Oh, do I ever."  
Ack, wrong move. Conversation *away* from her, *away* from sex, and most importantly, away from the two of them combined.  
"I don't know the first thing about love, y'know? I don't think we'd have worked that way. I don't think I'd work with anyone that way, really...don't know if I could start thinking about someone other than myself."  
Long, nimble fingers began to trace patterns on her skin, Tulio's voice lowering as he grew thoughtful. "You think that's what it takes?"  
"Yeah, I guess so. Knowing a person inside out, and wanting the world for them...I mean, I don't know what gets more powerful that. Couple it with lust, and you've got someone hooked, I'd say." She was insanely aware of him, and it was all desire. For as long as she could remember, her world had been desire, and riches, and escape from a world that still lingered. Hovered in the back of her mind, waiting to haunt her...  
No, she couldn't think about that. It had left her long ago, when she'd finally fled the city after so many attempts. And yet, it wouldn't rest, maybe it never would.  
"Did I ever tell you why I wanted to leave El Dorado?"  
He raised a single dark brow, and shook his head. "I don't know much about your past at all, now that you mention it."  
"I was in training to be a priestess. Like Tzekel Khan, except not insane, ya know?" She gave a short laugh, more bitter than she'd planned it to be. "So he was the one teaching me everything. Creepy guy, I thought, but not nuts, that part didn't register. Until he tried to...well. Abuse his superiority."  
Chel had said it so matter-of-factly that her lover was stunned by the final words. He scanned her eyes-eyes that often held a fear he could never define, or make tangible-and found the truth in them. "Dios, I'm...really afraid to think of what you mean."  
"That means you're probably right. When he made his advance, wouldn't stop when I told him to, I ran. Got away, thank God, and as fast as I could. He tried to find me, to...send me to Xibulba. I wouldn't have him, so I'd be a sacrifice. Virgins are prime for that or something." Another bitter laugh, as she curled herself more protectively in Tulio's arms. "But I'd ensured I'd have my first time, before he could lay a finger on me. He'd find some other way, though, I *knew* he would...so I grabbed the most valuable thing I could carry, and I ran. Fast."  
"And then we found you."  
"Yes." She wondered again how she'd come to this story in her thoughts, and why she chose to tell it. "I've never talked about it before, Tulio. With anyone. I acted like it had never happened, refused to let the bastard affect me. I always took what I wanted, sex, money, power if I'd had the chance. Whatever, just to show I wasn't afraid. Made myself think it was so easy..."  
"Chel..." He moved to wrap her further in his arms, but for an instant, she resisted. Those eyes cared too much, as they looked down at her. *She* cared too much.  
"You've gotta listen to me, ok? I've been alone for all my life, and I always will be. You've never had to deal with that. Even for that brief time you fought with him, Miguel was with you. You have someone who'll *always* be with you. Don't you *ever* take that for granted, you understand?"  
"Chel-"  
"Understand?" Her urgency surprised the both of them.  
"...Him, yes. Dios, I'll always understand him, but you...I feel like I'm hurting you, and I almost wish I did love you. You never hurt people you love."  
Chel shook her head, thinking of the pained emeralds of Miguel's eyes. "No, Tulio. You hurt them more than anything else can. You can feel anything, do anything but love them, and it's like a knife."  
"I thought you said you'd never been in love."  
"No," she said, and then the relief came as she knew she wasn't lying. "I never have been. But I think I know what it means to care. ...Let's get to sleep, Tulio. I'm cool now, okay?"  
Tulio managed a smile, thinking of Miguel (more, he mused, than he wanted too lately) and of the woman in his arms and how strange it was that she was so like both of them.  
Part of Chel knew that this would be the last night spent by his side.  
  


-to be continued-  


  
  
  
  



End file.
